Ego

I'm caught up in the everyday trend
Tied up by invisible thread
Walking down a razor-thin edge
And I wake up tired, think I'm better off dead
Been a few months since I crossed over state lines
Talk to my mom, fake smiles over FaceTime
Drink all night till I can't walk in a straight line
Feel so low but I'm high at the same time

I can't keep my feet on the ground
And I'm nervous what you'll think of me now
I'm hoping that someone comes around
Helps me figure it out

I think that I should try to kill my ego
'Cause if I don't, my ego might kill me
I'm all grown up but somehow lately
I'm acting like a fucking baby
I'm really not as happy as I seem

Still a little kid that can't make friends
Wanna be invited, but I won't attend
I've been having bad dreams my career could end
'Cause I slip up when I should've played pretend
Turned eighteen and I left the city
Said, "I wanna be cool, I don't wanna be pretty"
The voices all came crashing down
And said, "You're too nice to run this town"

I can't keep my feet on the ground
And I'm nervous what you'll think of me now
I'm hoping that someone comes around
Helps me figure it out

I think that I should try to kill my ego
'Cause if I don't, my ego might kill me
I'm all grown up but somehow lately
I'm acting like a fucking baby
I'm really not as happy as I seem
Nothing's as it seems
Nothing's as it seems
And I'm all grown up but somehow lately
I'm acting like a fucking baby
I'm really not that happy being me

I don't like the lie I'm living
I'm way too nice and too forgiving
I wanna go back to the beginning
When it all felt right
A rooftop, Lower East Side, I'm singing
Didn't give a fuck if I was winning
It's all done now, who am I kidding?
(Who am I kidding?)
I'm doing way worse than I'm admitting

I think that I should try to kill my ego
'Cause if I don't, my ego might kill me
I'm all grown up but somehow, lately
I'm acting like a fucking baby
I'm really not as happy as I seem
Nothing's as it seems
Nothing's as it seems
And I'm all grown up but somehow lately
I'm acting like a fucking baby
I'm really not that happy being me